By Kippy Marks—
Some people lead with volume. Others lead with velocity. But, every so often, a leader emerges who leads with presence—the kind of grounded, generous presence that steadies a room, lifts a community, and reminds us that love is not a theory. Love is a practice. And practice, as we say, makes love easy.
Troy Brunét is that kind of leader. For years, Troy has been a stabilizing heartbeat in our LGBTQ+ and leather communities—never demanding the spotlight, yet always illuminating the path. His leadership is not transactional; it is relational. He shows up, not because it is convenient, but because it is right. And, in a world where so many people are performing care, Troy is one of the rare ones who actually practices it. For these reasons, it is my ultimate honor to recognize Troy Brunét as the fourteenth individual highlighted in this column.
Kippy Marks: How long have you been involved with the practicing of PMLE (Practice Makes Love Easy) values in your work?
Troy Brunét: I’ve always had that type of practice in my life from a young age from my parents, and it’s just rolled over into everything else that I do. It’s easier to be kind than it is to be mean and rude to people. That takes too much energy and no one should want to have negative energy spinning off into the world. There’s already enough negativity living in the world today. I prefer to share some joy to help bring some peace to someone’s day. Plus, it makes my day better and easier to get through.
Kippy Marks: Who or what motivated you to become the community activist you are today?
Troy Brunét: My parents were active community leaders, and, as some would say, “movers and shakers” in everything they did. With grace. Also, I’ve been blessed to be able to get the things that I’ve needed. Now, don’t get me wrong; life has not always been easy or bright and shiny, but I’ve always tried my best to get through it all as best I can. I’ve had battle after battle and am grateful to be able to rise up from them all.
Thirty-two years ago. I found out I was HIV positive and thought I was on my way out of this world, but God had other plans for me. Nothing easy, but very challenging, for sure. Well, 26 years ago I went through the experience of having pneumocystis pneumonia (PCP), which is a serious, often fatal lung infection caused by the fungus Pneumocystis jirovecii, primarily affecting individuals with compromised immune systems, such as those with HIV/AIDS, cancer, or organ transplants. It presents with fever, dry cough, severe fatigue, and difficulty breathing. I was blessed to have Dr. Judith Luce and her husband Dr. Jon Luce at San Francisco General Hospital care for me through a long battle fighting for my life. At that time, it wasn’t called Zuckerberg, San Francisco, General Hospital. I was in a coma for two months, in the hospital for almost four months, and then in recovery for a year plus from that. Then, I found out I have a vascular necrosis, which is deterioration of the bone, and with 19 surgeries later, I still stand. I’ve had hip replacement surgery. I’ve had both of my knees replaced. I’ve had three shoulder replacements—two on the left one and one on the right so far—three back surgeries and one foot surgery, yet there’s more to come. With all of that, there were agencies that helped me get back on my feet after the PCP/coma times that helped in ways that I can’t say enough times … thank you.
My thank you for it all is to make sure that others can get the things they need with a bit of ease, so I volunteer where and when I can to help my community thrive. When I say my community, it’s not just the gay or HIV community; it’s the San Francisco community at large that helps bring joy into my life. I volunteered for the AIDS Emergency Fund, which is now a part of PRC, and the Breast Cancer Emergency Fund because they were intertwined and they were helping people survive and thrive through their battle of HIV and cancer. I’m still volunteering for both agencies that are now a part of other agencies. BCE is now part of BACC/Bay Area Cancer Connections and PRC as well as AEF. I volunteer for many, many agencies and causes. I’ve served on many boards and committees to try to share the love of life with others. For me, it’s all about finding joy and sharing joy with the world.
Kippy Marks: How old were you when you decided to dedicate so much time to the community?
Troy Brunét: I was 35 when I came through the pneumonia/coma situation. With the help that I got, I knew I had to give back and try to help someone not have to struggle like I did at the time. Also, I would never want anybody to live in pain like I do every day. It is not easy. Oh, honey, it’s not easy, but I try to do what I can where and when I can to get through the days and to hopefully help somebody not struggle through theirs. Finding joy is what life should be about for everyone, as it’s what helps me get through.
Kippy Marks: What advice would you give to others on how to practice love on the daily?
Troy Brunét: When you go out into the world, try to treat people the way you would want to be treated: with kindness. Yes, sometimes it’s not as easy as just staying in, but once you start to practice kindness, spreading some love into the world, it can bring you a lot of joy as well as bring some joy to the people whom you interact with.
Kippy Marks: If you were granted two universal wishes, what would you wish for?
Troy Brunét: I wish for people to be kinder to one another, so we all could be better people together. I would also wish that I did not have to struggle with the body pain that I live with every day as well as not to have to stress financially through my life. There’s only so much you can do when you’re hurting, but I do my very best to push through it and find joy and share it as well.
Kippy Marks: What are some current practices that our readers may find useful, and please update us on what you are doing now.
Troy Brunét: These days I serve on several boards and committees for UCSF, the Department of Public Health, the National AIDS Memorial Grove and Quilt, AIDSWalk San Francisco, the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, Project Homeless Connect, Maitri Hospice, the Alzheimer’s Association, San Francisco-Marin Food Bank, Metropolitan Community Church of San Francisco, PRC, BACC Bay Area Cancer Connections, HRC-Human Rights Campaign, and Daybreaker SF daytime dance party, and wherever I may be needed or can help. My life is busy, but I’m always trying to make it better for myself and others.
My practices are … God. I live for and by God’s hand guiding me through this crazy challenging world. For one, I read the daily prayers through the You Version Bible app. I read it every day. Mornings mostly. It gets me started; it helps me to focus on getting through the day and fighting through this pain that I deal with 24/7. I live by the word and through it. I feel so blessed to have it help me get through life’s craziness. I’m now reading the entire Bible as well, through that app with a group called The Bible Recap. It gives us two or three parts of the Bible to read daily. I’m now 78+ days in and have almost finished Deuteronomy. And I’m enjoying it.
The other is joy. I offer you the opportunity to find the joy in everything you do during your day, or at least some part of your day. Find that joy, because it’s there. You’ve just got to pay attention to it. And you’ll find that you can get through anything. Walk with your head held high, stay strong, be kind, and find joy, so you can have the freedom to enjoy a life full of love, happiness, and joy in peace.
Dubbed San Francisco’s “King of Strings”, Kippy Marks is a spirited solo entertainer whose shows are permeated with an infectious joy. His distinctive sound arises from his heart, through his 1822 violin consort, Izabella. Marks’ rare talent, broad smile, and radiant warmth will brighten any event to create lasting impact. He is also Grand Duke XL of The Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco. He is the first ever elected African-American Grand Duke.
Practice Makes Love Easy
Published on March 26, 2026
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