I know that my friends love me. They let me know in countless ways. Recently, I noticed the looks of concern on some of their faces. It seems as though my single status is troubling to them. I haven’t the slightest reason why!
Certainly the fight for marriage equality has provoked many folks in partnership to seek more formal unions with their beloveds. Yet, the pressure is on for those of us who are single, either by choice or because it is the most natural positioning for our lives at this time. I fall into both categories.
Not only do I enjoy dating but also my lifestyle — which involves a great deal of travel for work — is not the most conducive one for a stay-at-home relationship. Even in the early days of my career, I would tell 9-to-5ers who wanted to go out with me on weekends, that I am the entertainment on the weekend! Most of my comedy gigs fall between Friday and Sunday, which means that I wind up dating entrepreneurs, entertainers, or the chronically unemployed, all of whom have more time flexibility.
The first two categories — entrepreneurs and entertainers — are like me in that they are usually borderline workaholics who love the work that they do. Since I understand what it’s like to work for one’s self with the devotion of a zealot, these liaisons are fun for me. Travel is our middle name, and we get to meet up in exotic and big city locales, treat ourselves to luscious meals, and engage in fanciful activities that we can both afford and enjoy. The chronically unemployed, on the other hand, often have “means” issues and require being treated, which works when cash is flowing! Either way, there is no dealing with day-to-day life and, for me, that’s a plus.
You see, it’s the daily regimen that I am not anxious to share. I enjoy the comforts of my own home, a warm, safe, and peaceful sanctuary that greets me after my traveling sojourns. Upon my return home, I get to chant out loud in front of my Buddhist altar after whispering my prayers on ships, in hotels, and at friends’ places. I love to cook, and one of my joys of being home again is preparing delicious organic meals. I can watch endless reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” or “Seinfeld” and the latest season of “Downton Abbey” in silence. I can rest until I am refreshed, sometimes for 12-16 hours. (There you have it, the secret to my fabulous skin and youthful good looks…sleep!) And the rewards of solitary living go on and on and on.
Not that I don’t imagine myself as coupled, one day. It’s just that, for right now, I like my life the way it is! Sometimes, I feel that I have to rationalize my solo existence, so I explain that after raising children for decades of my life, my alone time is well deserved. Yet, I don’t need to do that. I can simply assert that, for some of us, being alone naturally is our way of living our best life.
May you strive to live your best life, one day at a time, in the ways that suit you. It’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon as I write this. I’m home again at last, and I feel a nap coming on. Ta Ta!
For right now, Karen Williams is a one-note samba! Resonate with her at karen@sfbaytimes.com
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