Sister Dana Sez

By Sister Dana Van Iquity

Sister Dana sez, “On May 1st, when I shouted joyfully, ‘May Day! May Day!’ – suddenly I was surrounded by several Coast Guard rescue boats. They confiscated my Maypole.”

May is the month of new beginnings. It’s also a spiritual time, notably Beltane. MARIANNE WILLIAMSON is a stellar spiritual teacher, author, and lecturer. She has published ten books, including four New York Times #1 bestsellers. Her latest publication is THE LAW OF DIVINE COMPENSATION: On Work, Money, and Miracles. The California Institute of Integral Studies presented Williamson at the First Unitarian Universalist Society to expound on A Course in Miracles teachings and its relevance to spiritual activists wanting to change the world for good via miracles, which involve shifting of perception away from fear and towards unconditional love. ciis.edu/publicprograms and marianne.com.

And for some spiritual as well as down-to-earth entertainment may I recommend Curran Reichert, who is both pastor of a church (ccctiburon.org) and a fabulous lesbian cabaret performer whom I sat next to and exchanged quips with at OUT & EQUAL WORKPLACE ADVOCATES’ fundraiser gala at Four Seasons, MOMENTUM, which honored Brigadier General Tammy Smith, the highest ranking openly gay officer currently serving in the military. The event, emceed by Liam Mayclem, opened with Cheer San Francisco giving queer cheerleading, followed by Executive Forum Co-chairs Charlene Grabowski, Patrick O’Donnell, Lis Warren, and Adam Wolf speaking about momentum building for change in the workplace for LGBTQ rights. CEO Selisse Berry promised Out & Equal would “continue advancing workplace equality for all.” The gala concluded with The Choral Project of San Jose singing stirring classics.

HUNKY JESUS: THE SECOND COMING! was the continuation of the annual contest by The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence that was rained out and later rescheduled at club DNA. Sister Dana and Sister Roma nunceed the event, featuring entertainment by MuthaChucka, Roxy-Cotten Candy, Bebe Sweetbriar, La Monistat, the burlesque of Dottie Lux, and the live band, Love Charisse, with DJs Steve Fabus and Sergio from GoBang! Last year’s winner, Funky Jesus, brought his guitar made out of a huge cross to rock the house. The 2013 contest winner was Please-us Jesus aka Kyle DeVries, who promised eternal orgasms on earth. Hallelujah!

The SF PRIDE PARADE & CELEBRATION COMMITTEE held a meet’n’greet at Destino’s for their new CEO Earl Plante who assured me, “Everything is in great shape for the Parade this year,” which is June 30th (additional celebration June 29th) with the theme: “Embrace! Encourage! Empower!” sfpride.org. And congratulations go to Bay Times co-publisher/editor Betty Sullivan as a Parade grand marshal.

SPARKLE was the annual SPRING FLING fundraiser for OPENHOUSE LGBTQ senior housing held at the Four Seasons Hotel. Event Chair Sonni Zambino and Board Chair Cynthia Martin welcomed Seth Kilbourn for his sixth year as executive director. 55 Laguna promises to be another proud landmark in SF. Dr. Marcy Adelman honored Roberta Achtenberg, and Supervisor Scott Wiener honored Mayor Willie L. Brown, Jr. openhouse-sf.org.

DANCES FROM THE HEART 2 was a fantastic fundraiser for Larkin Street Youth Services, BAY (Bay Area Young) Positives, and Dancers Group’s Parachute Fund at the Palace of Fine Arts, presented by RICHMOND/ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION (REAF), produced by Ken Henderson and Joe Seiler. We enjoyed an evening of hope and compassion and passionate performers from eleven top Bay Area dance companies, including Ballet San Jose, Chitresh Das Dance Company (traditional Indian), Company C Contemporary Ballet, Diablo Ballet, Joe Goode Performance Group, ODC dance, Post:Ballet, Robert Moses’ Kin, Salsamania, Smuin Ballet, and Te Mana O Te Ra (Tahitian). REAF Night at the Ballet with Company C Contemporary Ballet is May 3rd, 8:30pm, Z Space – 450 Florida Street. $50 tickets include premium seating and a chance to mingle with the dancers at the private cocktail reception. helpisontheway.org.

All That Jazz: Our drag pal Jackie Coxx is moving to NYC to find success on the Great White Way, so COOKIE DOUGH’S MONSTER SHOW (every Thursday at the Edge) brought the entire Chicago soundtrack to life with Cookie Dough, Jackie Coxx, Olivia Hart, Daft-Nee Gesuntheit, Bohemian Brethren, Ariel Androgyny, and Roxy-Cotten Candy – plus DJ MC2 spinning. cookievision.com.

LAMBDA LEGAL 40TH ANNIVERSARY SOIREE was a sit-down dinner at Terra Gallery, featuring a special performance by Tony-nominated Mx. Justin Vivian Bond singing original compositions and other numbers. Senator Mark Leno presented a Certificate of Recognition to Lambda Legal. Maverick Couch, the 16-year-old junior at Waynesville High School in Ohio, won a legal fight to wear his “Jesus is not a homophobe” t-shirt without suspension. He personally thanked Lambda Legal for winning that case. “For 40 years, our lawyers and public educators have helped bring equality to the forefront by always staying on the frontlines,” said Kevin Cathcart, executive director.

COMING UP!

24TH ANNUAL GLAAD MEDIA AWARDS will be at the SF Hilton Union Square on May 11th, honoring pop star Adam Lambert, California Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom, and the SF Giants, among many others who are advancing queer civil rights. glaad.org.

THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW 4Oth ANNIVERSARY CONCERT TRIBUTE with PATRICIA QUINN (Magenta) performing live on May 10th & 11th at Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street, is a fully realized rock music concert presenting songs from the original stage production orchestrated by hostess Peaches Christ. X-Factor contestant JASON BROCK is “Frankenfurter” and the Whoa Nellies’ LEIGH CROW is “Eddie.” Enter the Rocky Character Costume Contest. peacheschrist.com.

Macy’s’ stunning models will be strutting around the Phoenix Hotel pool in the latest looks from HUGO BOSS, hot off the runway at SWIMWEAR FOR A CAUSE as a fundraiser for PROJECT INFORM on May 4th, 4-7pm at 601 Eddy Street. projectinform.org.

Although many critics may have panned THE BIG WEDDING, Sister Dana sez you really oughtta RSVP and attend this merry matrimonial mania. Writer-director Justin Zackham, adapting the French comedy Mon Frère Se Marie, establishes its R-rating immediately, with Ellie (Diane Keaton) accidentally walking in on her ex-husband Donald (Robert De Niro) as he’s about to begin orally pleasuring his longtime girlfriend Bebe (Susan Sarandon). Ellie (who is best friends with Bebe) has returned for the wedding of her and Donald’s adopted son Alejandro (Ben Barnes, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian) to lifelong friend and neighbor Missy (Amanda Seyfried). As in any farce or big family occasion, there are plenty of mini-dramas going on besides Ellie and Donald’s awkward reunion. Their daughter Lyla (Katherine Heigl) has just kicked out her husband (Kyle Bornheimer), while their son Jared (Topher Grace) is a 29-year-old doctor still holding out to lose his virginity to his true love. Robin Williams is a Catholic priest  – on the wagon – providing marriage counseling. Adding to the hysterical hysteria is Alejandro’s strict biological mother Madonna (Patricia Rae), who does not believe in divorce, which is why Ellie and Donald must pretend to be married still. Madonna is visiting America for the first time and barely speaks English. Meanwhile Missy’s WASP parents (Christine Ebersole and David Rasche) have problems with their daughter marrying a “brown person.” It’s a tremendously talented cast and witty script. I don’t know why so many critics gave it the thumbs-down.

Adult flick pick: Behind the Big Top is even better than Under the Big Top, the greatest show on earth. ragingstallion.com.

May 12th is officially Mother’s Day, so be sure to wish your “Mommie Dearest” a happy one! Perhaps a nice set of wood hangers would be a nice gift. Or take her to MOTHER’S DAY WITH MOMMIE DEAREST, the cult camp classic screened by Marc Huestis at the Castro Theatre, May 11th, 7:30pm, featuring Mommie Dearest star Rutanya Alda (Joan Crawford’s loyal maid “Carol Ann”) live in-person! Hosted by Matthew Martin playing Joan (Faye Dunaway) with “Mommie Severest” look-alike contest. ticketfly.com.

Sister Dana sez, “Have a Happy Cinco de Mayo, and while we’re celebrating Mexican Independence, howzabout decent, humane immigration reform and the Dream Act passing?!”